The Struggle of Being an Outgoing Introvert

I have lived the majority of my life being picked on for being quiet and shy, while on the inside getting frustrated with people for saying that because I do not consider myself even a bit shy. I can walk up to anyone and talk to them about anything. I was even raised in a big and loud family, that you have to speak up to be heard. I have always been involved in many of lives social circles. The problem is that even though I have an outgoing personality I am actually an introvert.

30 Struggles of being an outgoing introvert:

1. I am happiest in small coffee shops and diners where I can be surrounded by people and watch the activity around me, but staying isolated on the sideline.

2. I waiver from wanting to be noticed for my work and accomplishments to panicking over the thought of someone paying too much attention to me. 

3. I have never understood categorizing someone as a introvert or extrovert because I am both.

4. I am told that I love people and making them happy, which is true but odd because I can be highly uncomfortable around others.

5. Dating or friendships are hard for me because I can be the life of the party but then not feel like hanging out or talking for a few days because I am enjoying my alone time.

6. The social activities that were suppose to be so important to me, such as prom or graduations, were just never my thing. Yes, I participated in these activities, but I do not feel like I would have missed out if I didn't.

7. My friends tell me I am mysterious, but really I just do not see the need to share everything about myself. Honestly, I would rather listen and hear about other people's lives. 

8. Because of #7 I can go from blowing up social media for several days to withdrawing from the online world for days.

9. I can be such an awkward person because I want to make others feel comfortable in social situations but at the same time I feel highly uncomfortable.

10. I am in no way anti-social, I just choose when I want to be social. I know this sounds mean and I in no way am mean or cruel, sometimes social situations just wear me out and I am selected on how I spend my time because of this.

11. I have many friends, but only a few I keep in my inner circle. These friends I am highly transparent in front of and they know everything.

12. I can be the life of a party, but then turn around and become a hermit for a few days. 

13. I am embarrassed to admit but sometimes I try everything to avoid people, but once I finally do talk to them I really enjoy the social time.

14. Growing up in school and now in the workplace people always volunteer me to do the presentations because I excel at them, but they don't know that I am really just seconds from throwing up at the thought of presenting.

15. I can be extremely indecisive, just ask my boyfriend. :)

16. I can be a little weird. People do not always know what to expect from me because I do not fall into the typical categories that most people do.

17. I love family events, but my family does not know this because I usually sit on the sidelines observing.

18. I spend a lot of time on my thoughts when I am alone, but tend to blurt things out in social situations.

19. People tend to say I am quiet which bugs me even thought I know it is partly true. Before realizing I was an introvert, there were times I would try to force myself to be more outgoing. 

20. I truly treasure my family and friendships, but I am not always the greatest at showing this to be true.

21. I get hurt easily when someone belittles me for saying I am uncomfortable doing something that might seem like no big deal to them.

22. I tend to bottle up my emotions because it is too exhausting to express them.

23. When I say something I mean it, there is no hidden meaning.

24. I am not very good with spur of the moment plans. I like to have my plans well thought out in advance.

25. In dating, it is a huge deal for me to want to spend every minute with someone. This does not happen often and I am so lucky to have that now with my guy Jim.

26. I don't just want to take life slow, I need to. Life is too exhausting to move fast!

27. People do not understand why I enjoy sitting at home on a Saturday night.

28. When put in uncomfortable social situations, I have a go to outfit and shoes that become a sort of security blanket for me.

29. I have two dogs that I treat like my children because although I am alone a lot I really do not like being alone.

30. I tend to dread getting on a plane and having to sit next to a chatty person, but also hate the idea of being on a plane for hours without talking.

Are you as confused about my personality as everyone else? What odd personality quirks do you have?