10.08.2012

When Moving on is Holding You Back

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
- John F Kennedy

Sometimes we stare so long at the door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.
- Alexander Graham Bell

My mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.
-Forrest Gump

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time.
We are the ones we've been waiting for.
We are the change that we seek.
- Barak Obama


Some people live most of their lives with very little tragedy encompassing on their every day life,
and I am so thankful for the pure and beautiful naivety that those very people possess. 
I truly mean that! However, some of us face many bumps on our path and 
sometimes those bumps are enough to knock us down every once in awhile.
I do want to note a disclaimer that I am not trying to belittle anyone's problems in this post,
and I know that there is an infinite amount of suffering in this world that we live.
With saying that, I have had a great deal of those moments that knock you down,
and what I have come to realize is that I am living my life as a result of the circumstances
that I have been put in, and not a result of the choices I have made.
I need to turn my way of thinking around!

I have created my life into a timeline of horrific events. When I think back through my past I realize I have sectioned off parts of my life by the bad things that have happened. I commonly get hung up on thinking
whether something has happened before or after my dad died, or that bad thing that happened in high school, or that time I lost a friend, or the miscarriages I have gone through, or the separation/divorce I am now facing and so on. Why do I struggle focusing on the good? Why do I struggle making my life about the choices I am
making and not about what is happening or not happening to me?

How do we move on after bad things happen?
I have always told people that you don't necessarily move on
but you find a new way of living, but I do not even follow my own advice.
I just continue waiting for someone else to change life for me.

It is time to be a big girl and grow up now!
No more focusing on the bad!
No more letting life happen to me!
I am going to let my life be a result of my choices not circumstances!

There are three questions I have begin to focus on
in order to move on and focus on happiness & joy: 
1) What are the turning points in my life and how have I dealt with them?
2) What is holding you back?
3) What decisions can I make to increase my happiness?

I am not exactly going to wait to make a resolution to New Years, I am already starting
to move on and create my own happiness.
I am going to live life, achieve dreams, and be happy!





10 comments :

  1. You are on the right path. As someone who has faced many bumps including divorce at a young age i went through all the emotions you are feeling and your post nails the solution. You just can't hold onto the past you just cant. Even if you want to. Good luck to you friend!

    Tara

    http://tarabelle-adropofink.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the encouragement. It's helpful to know that I am not on my own and others have been down the same road.

      Delete
  2. There is NO one right path - but more the best path for each person. It is hard to always be positive and move on. My motto is embrace the hurt - cry, dwell and don't forget BUT that is a moment. After that I move myself forward (no matter how hard it is). I have learned over the last 32 years that HAPPINESS is key. So I think you are on the right path! I too went through massive changes at the age 23 (missed pregnancy, divorce, change in careers, change in life).

    Sharee'
    www.momFITtingitallin.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love your motto! Thanks for sharing, it helps to know others have survived!

      Delete
  3. what an inspiring post! you express this so well and it's so good to think about. i love your darling blog & we're your new followers! come follow along at chaseandem.blogspot.com Xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree - I think everyone's life is what moulds them. Another persons small problems may be another's large. By finding a new way of living, you acknowledge and accept what has happened and know that it can't be changed anymore. It's a tough thought to deal with sometimes and some kicks feel bigger than others but always look to the future.

    I am personally going through a very tough time at the moment and finding even my own words hard to live by. I hope I find my strength soon!!
    Good luck to you :-)
    Missy
    takeallchances.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you find your strength as I continue to try to find mine. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here. yellowumbdesign@gmail.com

      Delete
  5. good for you! great words of inspiration.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...